


the best laid plans are cardboard

by thescyfychannel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Calvin and Hobbes references, Cardboard Construction, F/M, Homemade Doomsday Device, M/M, Multi, Sulking, cardboard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22052482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescyfychannel/pseuds/thescyfychannel
Summary: Your partners, though you will never,everadmit this to them, to anyone, or even out loud (in fear that on of them willsomehowfind out you said it) are better at cheering you up than you deserve.Of course, they disagree with that statement, too, but you have to at leasttryto draw the linesomewhere.
Relationships: Vriska Serket/Dave Strider/Dirk Strider
Kudos: 13
Collections: Polyswap Winter Promptfest - Dawn Edition





	the best laid plans are cardboard

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [Sartorially](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sartorially/pseuds/Sartorially) in the [Polyswap_Winter_Promptfest_Dawn_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Polyswap_Winter_Promptfest_Dawn_2019) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Dave and Vriska decide that Dirk is brooding too hard and cheer him up by playing into his hyperfixations. Does this mean they all build doomsday things together? Strife? Watch esoteric media and let him ramble? Spend hours cuddling? Who knows!

"But," you start, and Dave raises an eyebrow at you. Usually that would be Vriska's job, but she's busy right now, testing the durability of four different types of wood glue. You pause, very aware of the eyebrow, then start over. "It's made of cardboard."

What felt like an incredibly salient point in your favor withers up and _dies_ when Vriska, distracted from her experiments, turns around and raises the *other* eyebrow at you. "Your point being?"

Listen. You're Dirk Fucking Strider. Nine times out of ten _you_ are the one hoisting a judgmental supercilium flag on a play that one of _them_ is making. You rally: "Doomsday devices aren't generally known for being built out of cardboard." There. Good. You're certain that you delivered that line with enough withering scorn that they'll be forced to leave you alone to your...quiet contemplation. Not brooding. Definitely not brooding.

Dave and Vriska trade looks like freshly opened Pokémon cards after Christmas, and you feel your soul shrivel up a little more. Or maybe that was your ego. Probably your ego.

"You haven't been reading enough _Calvin and Hobbes_ ," Vriska informs you, and your jaw drops.

"You didn't even _have_ that in your universe," you say, and your traitor brain reminds you that _technically_ it had been banned as propaganda in yours, and that it's only recently that you've gotten to read some of Bill Watterson's genius in its proper format.

"I _made_ this universe," she reminds you. "Do you really think I wouldn't have my finger on the pulse of one of the hottest irons in the fire ever?"

Dave's grinning, and you are filled with regrets. "Babe, I don't know if a comic strip really counts as an iron in the fire."

"Shut up and help me hold these two pieces together."

You are left staring mournfully at the instructions they'd helpfully printed out for you—no, wait. Actually...wait. Holy shit. These are hand drawn, and they've even included several helpful little diagrams. You stare down at them for a long second, then glance at Dave and Vriska. They don't seem to notice your increased level of interest, which means...

Another glance, and you _think_ they're smiling and smug, but you can't prove it. You'll skip calling them on it, and they'll skip calling _you_ on getting all excited that they handcrafted a design for a cardboard doomsday machine just to make you smile.

You're lucky, sometimes. Most of the time.

Okay. All of it, with them.


End file.
